Teaching my girls to meditate wasn’t
one of my resolutions for the new year. I’ve got a ton of tricks up my sleeve
for practicing mindfulness with them; so many, in fact, that I wrote a book
about it. But formal seated meditation can be hard for little ones, especially
kiddos who are super twitchy after being stuck inside for a week because the
temperature outside is approximately one bajillion degrees below zero.
ButI’m still meditating, and I’m
always looking for more support for my practice. (You can’t do this alone
folks, none of us can.) So I signed up for Susan Piver’s 21 Day Meditation
Challenge.* The first guided meditation landed in my email yesterday morning,
and my kids wanted to try it with me. So, we tried it.
My older daughter (age 9) was
interested in watching the introductory video, which she totally didn’t
understand and so I explained to her as well as I could. By the time we
actually sat down to meditate, she had ants in her pants, so she got up and
walked away. My younger one (age 7) skipped the video, but she was able to sit
with me for five minutes of breathing meditation. They both wanted to try again
tomorrow, so I’m calling it a win.
In my next post, I’ll walk you through
exactly how we meditated together (spoiler alert: it’s not hard at all, but
there are a few tools and strategies that will make it easier). Right now I
want to focus on whyI’m teaching them to meditate.
Meditation will help shape their brain
(in a good way!). Researchers have found that meditation can strengthen the
areas of our brains that help us solve problems, think creatively, manage our
emotions, and connect with other people. In addition, when we sit and breathe
in an intentional way, the part of our brain that makes us fight, flight,
freeze, or freak out gets a little smaller and less reactive. Basically, a
consistent meditation practice can lead to fewer meltdowns, which is pretty
much the greatest thing ever.
Meditation can teach my girls how to
notice their thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations. There are tons of
different ways to meditate, but many of them involve noticing something about
our internal experience (rather than getting caught up in it). The more we
practice noticing, the more likely we will be to clue into what’s going on in
our minds and bodies before the freak out happens. It’s the difference between
your kiddo realizing she’s hungry and asking for a snack and flipping out all
over the place because she didn’t realize how hangry she was until it was too
late. I’ll take Option A, please.
It teaches them that they don’t have
to take their thoughts seriously. Just last night my daughter had a terrible
nightmare, and she was having a hard time settling down. Rather than asking her
about the details of her dream, I just reminded her that they aren’t real,
they’re just thoughts. And then we practiced counting her breaths as a way to
bring her awareness back to the present moment. It took a few minutes, because
the thoughts that come from an exhausted brain can be pretty sticky, but
eventually we got her calmed down and back to sleep. The more my kids meditate,
the better they’ll get at noticing their thoughts and letting them go.
They will practice, and get better at,
paying attention – even in situations that are boring or hard. The ability to
pay attention is a fundamental life skill, one that is becoming increasingly
challenging in an age of screens and smartphones and notifications and social
media and internet browsers with 27 open tabs. Fortunately, it’s also a skill
that we can get better at through intentional practice. Meditating is like
going to the gym for your brain, but without the risk of falling off the
treadmill.
Meditation teaches them how to calm
themselves down in challenging moments. Most of us never even realize we’re
breathing, which generally works out well for us. (Imagine if we had to
remember to breathe all the time. YIKES!) But the ability to breathe
intentionally is a powerful strategy for handling difficult moments; as I tell
my daughters, it’s a quick, easy, and sneaky way to tell our bodies that
everything is ok, and that they can calm down now.
I’m not sure how long our current
meditation experiment will last, but I’m going to stick with my practice and
share it with them as long as they’re interested. In my next post, I’ll walk
you through every step of how we’re meditating together.
* Full disclosure: I’m not getting any
kick-back or bonus from Susan Piver for this shout-out. I’m just a big fan of
her teaching, and I want to share the good stuff with you all.
Want more mindful parenting and
updates on my forthcoming book, How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t With Your Kids?
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